Enjoy the portfolio of Carol Mell, whose creativity has found expression in different pathways through her artist journey. Visit her website to see more of her art.
My mother painted sensitive landscapes, sketched wildflowers and trees. My older brother showed his talent for rendering early. Though I always dreamed of being an artist, I grew up believing that I lacked talent. I wrote journal after journal with secret sketches and never dared pursue an art education.
It was in college that I discovered modern dance, which I understand now as another way to render form in space. From the start, I created dances with the movement of birds, deer and salmon—animals I considered my familiars from my rural Oregon childhood.
In a twist of fate, on the strength of my choreography, I was invited to attend The Juilliard School to study dance. After scarcely two years of training, dance class was a struggle and ballet nearly incomprehensible. But I was free to create dances for myself and others that were quirky but inventive, still imitating the movement of the natural world and her creatures.
New York City was an education for a girl who grew up roaming the woods and playing in a ghost town. The city introduced me to theater, dance, music and great museums. I discovered my own creativity was an ever-flowing spring. Nowadays, in retirement age, I once again have the time and resources to make art. Though my body weakens, I find my creative wellspring and fascination with movement remain undiminished.
Physicality and the sense of touch matter. They are the reason I eventually turned away from fine art photography. Searching for a way to paint on photos led me to encaustic. Gradually, my photos disappeared under the wax and oils. Then, the pandemic brought a sea change. If I was to die, I reasoned, then I wanted to spend my last days painting, not for others but for myself. If my work was good, it scarcely mattered. I seized the chance to paint, without worry or shame. It felt like snatching the net from under my tightrope, but I gave myself permission to fall.
Surprisingly, as I poured out my fear, anger and grief with cold wax and oils on paper, creatures of anxiety (but mostly joy) emerged from my hand. Were their meanings only for me? Time will tell, but I trust that it is only through connection with the deeply personal that we connect to the universal. So, it is in hope that I let my creatures and characters dance upon the canvas.
My painting journey started three years ago. Since then, I have been exploring what Martha Graham called The Cave of the Heart. I’m fascinated with threshold, secret gardens, and the movement of spirit creatures. Most of all, I hope my paintings tell stories of the unseen, within and without.
Like my Juilliard experience, I like to think that what I lack in technique and experience I make up for in spontaneous and intuitive expression. Still, I study intensely, always looking to learn more about making good art. It is a journey for a lifetime.
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